Standardized Testing Emergency Procedures

In light of the Math TAKS Test coming up tomorrow and the severe weather we've had lately, proper precautions have to be used to make sure that the tests remain secure at all times. Here's the additional instructions for the day:

1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.

2. Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes. You must monitor the students at all times. To do otherwise would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.

3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry, please make every effort to protect their testing materials from the flow of tears and sinus drainage.

4. Should a flying object come through your window during testing, please make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing booklet or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of the flying object so that it will not disturb the students while testing.

5. Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying into the room, have the students use their bodies to shield their testing materials so that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure that no one accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer sheets will not scan properly.

6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff their test booklets and answer sheets into their shirts, being very careful not to bend them because bent answer documents will not scan properly.

7. If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud, please make sure they mark at least one answer before departing, and of course make sure they leave their answer sheets and test booklets behind. You will have to account for those.

8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take you flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for all of your testing materials when you land so please take extra precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never leave your hands.

9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not be allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests, unless of course they have been through standardized test training.

10. Please do not pray should a severe weather situation arise. Your priority is to actively monitor the test and a student might mark in the wrong section if you are praying instead of monitoring. I'm sure God will put war, world hunger, crime, and the presidential primaries on hold until after testing is over. He knows how important this test is.

OK maybe it's not that serious, but I found the email humorous, and we all need some humor when we're stressed. :) Hope everyone, students and teachers alike, are having successful testing this week!

What Are You Waiting For?

No one is surprised to hear that humans are hard-wired to desire companionship. I've made it no secret that I would be happy to find love as my life would feel a bit more complete if I had someone with which to share it. Today, though, I realized how much my "list" has changed. You know "the list"... the one you made of desirable qualities in a mate? The one you may or may not have written down (I never did), but you always made checkmarks on as you met a new romantic interest? Ah yes, now you're with me. Anyways, mine has changed quite a bit, and I feel like chronicling the surprising changes here.

1. Respects my Faith - This is a HUGE one that has majorly evolved over the years. "Is a Christian" used to always be at the top of the list, but I've often chosen men to date who were agnostic. I've come to realize that respect is most important. While it would be nice to have a Christian mate, I'd above all hope that he would be respectful of the faith I have chosen to base the way I live my life.

2. Contributes Financially - I don't really make great money, but I get by. I'd love someone who contributes equally to the household. Now if that means he makes a little less or more than me, fine. If he made a lot, wow what a bonus! Being able to put a bit more in savings would be lovely, but I know how to budget, so money no longer matters.

3. Loves Dogs - Used to be "loves cats" but then Sprinkles happened. Since he is my constant companion, if you don't love Sprinkles, we're going to be a bit rocky simply because getting rid of him isn't really an option.

4. Handsome to Me - I say this is a change because it used to be "handsome" without the "to me". I've realized that when you're in love (or heavily in like), imperfections fade. I once dated a man long distance that the first time he called, I really didn't like his voice. Soon after the initial call, hearing "hello sweetheart" on the other end of the line brightened my day like nothing else could. It was about him and who he was, and falling for him meant his voice, being HIS, was perfect in my eyes. Physical imperfections like weight, an awkward gait, bitten nails, etc all have seemed to disappear in the past when I have fully fallen for a man. He's been perfect in my eyes because I know him, the real him, who he is inside. Sappy? Yes. Do I care? Not at all. :)

5. Sense of Humor - I didn't used to rank this one very high, but it's close to number 1 for me now. I use humor a lot to get out of awkward situations and to diffuse my discomfort in being around a group of people. Someone who gets my jokes and can roll with the witty banter is a must. If I can spend hours talking to him, laughing most of the time, but still able to be serious, it's a big plus.

*Side Note* I look back at #4, and I think how weird it is that I give the men I love (have interest in) that benefit, but I don't trust that they'll give it to me. I am constantly down on myself that my weight and looks aren't good enough, but if "he" loves me, that should melt away for him too. I should be beautiful in his eyes. If he can't get past my physical appearance (which I'm working on), then does he really know the real me? Has he really taken time to get to know me?

A few other things:

- Has to share my interests. I'm a geek, pure and simple, and I've embraced that lately. He's got to at least be able to admit that Steampunk has beauty. :) Firefly and Dr. Horrible should be humorous to him. There's other geeky stuff, but I won't bore you all with it.

- Loves Disney (movies & parks). I kept my love fairly under wraps until a few years ago. I've embraced it now. If you can't enjoy the magic of the parks with me or curl up on the couch to watch a great classic Disney movie, we're going to have some struggles. A fanatic (like me) would be nice but not necessary.

- Can listen to my work stories. I have to talk about work some when I get home. There's a ton that goes on, and working in a school has its own breed of drama. I need someone who can be supportive, offer advise when needed, and help me move past all that to enjoy the rest of the day.

- Loves that I'm passionate and sensitive. If not, the easy tears will totally daunt him. :)

So, no, I'm not waiting for my Edward or my Jacob. I'm not expecting Prince Charming or a knight in shining armor to whisk me away. I'm waiting for him though. I'm waiting for the man who meets these realistic qualities. I want someone who completes me just the way that I complete him. Am I desperately searching for him? Nah. I'm starting to have faith he'll come along. Maybe he's in my life, and we don't realize it yet. Maybe I haven't met him. I don't know, but after living alone this long, when I do get to share my life with someone, I will always remember to be grateful for him.

We're all often waiting for something: a mate, a better job, the chance to have a baby, a better opportunity in life. I know what I'm waiting for, what about you? What are you waiting for?